Reunion after the trip

The late afternoon we walked to his parents. 3 minutes away.

Every time they come back from their trip they give us a ring and tell that they're back. This means they've got presents for us from the trip and we should come by and have a coffee and biscuits with them. Then "Present time". 

All the stuff nicely laid on a rack placed on the left side of the living room entrance and they show them to us proudly as if some of their belongings is about to be inherited. And his mom explains where, when, why, and how they got it to us, on each present and it's finally handed to us. This is a ritual.

We've got a bottle of Canadian Maple Syrup, Maple tea, and a T-shirt with some prints of Maple leaves. 

On the dining table, pretty tea cup sets and biscuits were ready and waiting for us to sit. His mom told me where to sit heading back to the kitchen to get the coffee pot. I always sit with my back to the window. Jan sits across the table. 

I'm mostly listening to them talking about ordinary things so I did the same today. But I'm always ready to ask them some questions for when the conversation ends. I don't like a sudden silence to surrounds us and all you can hear is the striking of their antique clock and clatters of tea cups. I'd send Jan a glance that tells him to talk but it never worked. I became the one to break the silence.

His dad had DVD player ready. He was excited to make a photo gallery show after this coffee time.

We sat on the couch and looked through it all. It was pretty. We had the smile of "it was great.".

Following pictures made me say in my head: Shit.

Our wedding day. He saved all the pictures from Canada trip in the same file that we got him our wedding photos in. We've agreed on separation. Twice.
But the parents don't know anything about it yet. Their faces toward the screen were on full smiling.

Those were the last photos I wanted to see. Now I wouldn't need anything like that to strengthen the relationship among us anymore. Even one hug makes me feel a guilt of having something they don't know. 

We came out the door. Sky was blue and clear. Crisp Summer breeze after quick rain. 

I like the smell of trees and dirt after shower and the sunlight starts to dry them. 

But it did't clear up the clouds in my head.

M